Chapter 30.1

Chapter 30.1

I tilted my head back sharply, raising my gaze until I could see the man’s eyes beneath the shadow of his cap brim.

Deputy Ki’s eyes held the familiar possessiveness I’d seen before, now thinly veiled by a film of anger and shame. Surprisingly, he also looked a little forlorn.

“Wh-what are you suddenly talking abou—”

“Was it because you had a c9.ck waiting for you that you did that to me?”

“What?”

“That man must be Inmate No. 7059’s exclusive c9.ck.”

My head spun. These were words I never imagined coming from Deputy Ki.

Only once, when I’d told him to hold back his climax and he’d groaned to himself in agony, had Deputy Ki ever used vulgar language. He always spoke politely to the inmates, and I’d never once heard him use the crude “this bitch, that bitch” language that other guards casually employed.

Even when I said something suggestive, he would only blush a little and say nothing. So how could I not be flustered when he suddenly started talking about c9.cks?

“Ex-excuse me, Deputy Ki—”

“Are you going to suck that man’s c9.ck when you get out?”

“…Hah…”

I thought he was being sarcastic, but Deputy Ki was deadly serious. The way he asked, as if something incredibly significant depended on my answer, was both perplexing and utterly preposterous.

This isn’t good. An instinctual warning pulsed through my mind.

“Wh-what does it matter to you?”

Even if I got parole, I had a premonition that it might not be the end.

I wanted it to end. Everything that had imprisoned me. I no longer wanted to be bound by anything. Because I was someone who knew freedom.

A sharp pain shot through the back of my head. It spread like my skull was shattering, as if I’d been struck.

My instincts were screaming a warning: Run away, you must run away.

I clutched my head and forced myself to speak.

“It’s none of Deputy Ki’s business whether I go to that man or not.”

“Does it still not matter if I say I like you?”

“……”

“I… I l-like Inmate No. 7059…”

I like you for who you are.

Someone had confessed that to me.

“Don’t lie.”

It was a lie. He couldn’t possibly like me. He—

“Then say you like Kim Geummi. By name, not by inmate number.”

“……”

Of course. In the end, this, too, was nothing but the deception of someone who had drawn a line. The arrogance and bluster of a person looking down from above.

“We’re nothing to each other. Hmph… Liking something like that… It’s ridiculous…”

As I babbled incoherently, my shoulder was seized. In that moment, it felt like shackles.

“…I don’t need Deputy Ki anymore! Just leave me alone!”

“……”

“J-just let me be free—”

How could you do such a thing to me!

Words completely unrelated to the situation screamed in my head.

A violent pain, as if my skull were being crushed, engulfed my vision in darkness.

I love you, I love you. I love you.

In the darkness, only someone’s helpless confession drifted like air.

A field in a hill, and beyond, fluffy clouds floated like cotton on a blue canvas sky.

The sun was blindingly bright but never scorching. The breeze was cool, and the temperature on my skin was pleasantly warm.

On the green field, several adorable sheep with luxurious white wool grazed idly. Even approaching them didn’t startle the sheep. Instead, they took a step closer, then another, before nestling into my arms. I buried my face in their soft texture and their fragrant scent.

I’m happy. I love the peace I feel now.

Baa-aa-aa-aa-aa—

The sheep began to bleat. A shepherd dog appeared on the distant hill.

It’s time to go home. I’ll let you go. I whispered into a fluffy, cottony ear. See you next time. When we meet again, pretend you know me. My name is…

Wiggling their plump bottoms, the flock of sheep headed towards the shepherd dog on the hill.

Spotting the sheep, a slender, four-legged figure swiftly darted down the hill from above. Please let them get to a safe place. I waved my hand as I watched.

Its thin muzzle, pointed ears, long flowing fur, and sharp fangs glinted. It opened its mouth and bit into the sheep’s neck. White fur scattered and turned crimson.

Baa-aa-aa-aa-aa— The peaceful sheep’s hill was drenched in blood-soaked screams.

My nose was cold. My feet were cold with every step on the frozen ground. I walked with short, quick steps across the exercise yard, hands tucked into opposite sleeves, when Eyes, huddled up beside me, let out a moan.

“Oh, it’s too cold, unnie…”

The sky was particularly gloomy today, as if overcast with storm clouds. December, deep in winter and four days before Christmas, was unusually bitter.

“My bones and joints ache all over. Are you feeling better, unnie?”

Eyes’ words were laced with worry.

It had been three days since I collapsed in the visitor’s room. When I opened my eyes, I saw the familiar bleak ceiling, and I was lying in my spot in the inmate’s room, covered by a musty, navy-blue blanket.

“It’s strange, if you think about it. You just collapse like that, so fragile, but then where does that gutsy spirit come from when you defy Wangnyeo? … Unnie, speaking of which, aren’t you having a parole hearing?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, that’s great. Good for you, unnie. I always thought you didn’t belong here.”

Eyes kicked idly at the small pebbles scattered on the ground as she walked.

The 15-minute exercise period after lunch, usually a favorite among the inmates, felt exceptionally chilly today. Perhaps deterred by the cold, everyone huddled against the building walls where some sunlight still reached, shrinking into themselves. White plumes of breath shattered with every exhale.

“Eyes, have you ever seen the prison warden?”

“Yeah, sure. He’s an old guy, maybe fifty. Handsome, though.”

“They said he’s coming for the Christmas service.”

“He always comes for special days. Buddha’s Birthday, Christmas, National Foundation Day, National Liberation Day, stuff like that. They even give us special meals on those days.”

I nodded vaguely. Perhaps I could consider myself lucky. If the prison warden heard my testimony, he might be a little more positive in the review than others.