Chapter 23.2

Chapter 23.2

Haaa… He still didn’t grasp the heart of it. Even though he could do far more, he insisted on limiting what he would do for me.

Before, I would have been thrilled by that offer. A letter would only be the beginning, and after that he might do something bigger. But now the situation had changed.

A letter was nothing. Once Doctor Ahn found the agency address, I could send it myself. As for the content, I only had to word it so Hongbae oppa would understand.

“It’s fine. You don’t have to push yourself. Someone other than you said they would help.”

“Who?”

His voice when he asked that felt like a chill down my spine. I rubbed my goosebumped arm and answered haltingly.

“Doctor Ahn could help, and maybe other officers too, if I only ask for something simple…”

“What about me?”

“……”

“How do you plan to treat me from now on?”

“What do you mean, treat you how?”

For nearly a month, he and I had kissed more times than I could count and touched each other’s bodies constantly. Only once had we actually had penetrative s.!x, because of his conservative, gentlemanly temperament.

Treat him how. Was he seriously upset because he wanted s.!x? Unable to phrase it nicely, I just asked directly.

“Are you saying you just miss my body?”

When I thought about it, it wasn’t strange. Even in this gloomy prison, and certainly outside it, women would have lined up for Deputy Ki. Even if he had no job and lived begging on the streets, no woman would ignore that face and that body.

Besides, I wasn’t the only one here who liked him. Yera did, and Doctor Ahn was practically a devoted follower of his.

If what he missed was s.!x, or the thrill of forbidden intimacy in this closed space, he had plenty of options.

“Aren’t you the one who misses me, 7059?”

“…Of course I do. But what can I do? Look at the state I’m in….”

“Is this because of what I said that day? Because I said you’re a convict, 7059?”

Could I deny it? The truth was that comment stung, and that was when I started rethinking everything.

When I didn’t answer, Deputy Ki’s chin dipped slightly, as if confirming his guess.

“I have no intention of apologizing.”

“……”

“You committed a crime. No matter what kind of relationship we have, that doesn’t change. It doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want.”

“……”

“You’re here to be punished, you. Remember that.”

His flat, notice-like voice drove the words straight into the center of my chest like a spike. Why am I a criminal? What did I do wrong? The crime belongs to this woman, Ham Yeo-hee, and I…!

Again. Thoughts and sentences tangled out of control. The back of my head throbbed sharply.

Pain surged, dragging fury up with it. So what do you want from me? I said I’d back off. I said I’d stop!

“I said I get it. I’m a criminal, fine. I’m stopping. What exactly are you telling me to do?”

What do you want from me?

My head was heating up, spiraling without end, and the words spilled straight out of my mouth.

“So I’m supposed to keep liking you? What does that even mean? Ah… I get it. Sleeping with a woman who says she likes you must make that guilt a little easier to bear.”

I turned around and yanked down my pants and und3.rw!@r in one go. Leaning my upper body over the infirmary bed, I pushed my hips toward him.

“Then do it. Just do it. Pretend I like you and go ahead.”

This wasn’t like me. Something about his attitude and his words had jabbed something raw inside me. Like pulling the safety pin out of a grenade.

“Hurry up and f~!c.k me. Since I like you.”

I felt his gaze on my bare bottom. Shamelessly, my lower entrance twitched, eager, greedy, uncaring of my mood. Wetness had already gathered low in my belly, dripping downward.

But the man seeing all of this didn’t move an inch. Instead, a heavy voice reached me from behind.

“Will you not regret it?”

What? Regret what, getting f.!c!ed?

“Yes. I won’t regret anything.”

Footsteps came closer. Instead of the sound of a buckle being undone, his hand touched me first. The pants and underwear that had fallen to my ankles were pulled up in one smooth motion by his large hand, all the way back to my waist.

When I gathered the waistband he had put back on me and turned around, Deputy Ki’s solid, immovable frame filled my view.

“You’re certain you won’t need me ever again?”

“…Yes. I’m letting go.”

I stared only at the name tag on his chest. Ki X Jo. The scratched-out middle syllable, I’d heard, was to keep officers from exposing their full names to inmates.

While I silently mouthed the syllable that should have filled that blank spot, the man dropped his gaze and stepped toward the door. He tilted his chin. I followed that gesture like a model inmate and stepped into the hall. As I walked half a step ahead, Deputy Ki followed behind me. Exactly like an ordinary guard and a prisoner.

“……”

I no longer needed Deputy Ki. I meant it.

The next day, Doctor Ahn did not come to the infirmary.

Nor the day after that. Nor the day after.