Chapter 30

Chapter 30 – Please Let Me Cry (2)

So why did you do that?

Gabriel had never forgotten the sensation of hands stained with red blood gently cradling his face. It was as if someone had deliberately smeared half dried mud over his skin, determined to make him remember the clinging, unpleasant texture. The memory had been etched into every single cell of his body.

Liars have to be punished, do they not?

Was this what that punishment was meant to be?

Gabriel stared quietly at the empty space Erin had left behind and asked the figure that appeared within his hallucination. That person smiled faintly and answered him.

No. That is something you created yourself.

…That was right. Everything was the result of his own making.

He should not regret it. He was not allowed to feel something like that.

And yet, he was helpless before the emotions that kept surging up inside him. Erin had not yet collapsed the way he wanted her to. It had only just begun, so why did it hurt this much already?

Why was he suddenly afraid, when this was only the beginning.

Gabriel stood there blankly before sensing Sistus’s presence and hurriedly rising to his feet.

He did not have time to be swept away by his own emotions. If Sistus was here, that meant she had met Erin.

There was no time to think, no time to school his expression.

He rushed up to the rooftop where Sistus should have been, only to find Erin alone. It seemed Sistus had already left.

When their eyes met, Erin frowned, clearly displeased by the presence of an uninvited guest.

But Gabriel could not spare a thought for that. The blood staining the ground caught his attention instead.

He hurried over, grabbed Erin by the shoulders, and poured out his questions in a rush.

“A, are you hurt? Are you injured anywhere? What did she say to you? She did not harm you, did she?”

In his panic, Gabriel did not even realize how he was speaking to her. Pale faced, he inspected her body from head to toe.

There were no injuries.

Only then did he realize that the scent of blood did not belong to her.

He must have been too startled to recognize it at first.

I made a mistake.

Slowly, he lifted his head and looked at Erin.

…Erin was staring back at him without a trace of expression.

Once again, a dull ache spread deep in his chest. Gabriel slowly dropped to his knees and looked up at her.

She had told him not to look down on her, so he obeyed. He did not want her to look at him with eyes like that, not even a little.

His breath caught in his throat. He did not know what kind of selfishness drove him to do this, but he did not want her to treat him with such indifference.

She could have lashed out like before, cursed him, grabbed him by the collar. She could have screamed and hurled every hateful word she had at him.

Why are you looking at me like that without saying anything?

Gabriel parted his lips several times before forcing a smile.

He wanted to act as though everything was fine, but today his face refused to obey him. He took her hand and rubbed it against his cheek.

It quickly grew cold in the chill air. Erin shook his hand off and looked down at him.

“Why are you suddenly using polite speech?”

“…I suppose so.”

An old habit had slipped out before he could stop it. He had hoped she would not ask, but she did.

“I think it is because I used to speak that way to everyone.”

“You came because of Sistus.”

“…Yes.”

Erin looked at him. The sight of him kneeling and looking up at her was repulsive. Unable to bear even facing him like this, she brushed his hand away.

Then she immediately used teleportation magic. Her head was a mess, and she just wanted to offer her evening prayers and go to sleep.

[Death for the sake of revenge benefits no one. Show forgiveness and mercy, and carry out what is most righteous.]

Death for revenge.

As if there were anything more perfect than that. Erin scoffed inwardly and clasped her hands together.

Then she sensed Gabriel approaching and turned her head.

She should have locked him up after all. Erin frowned as she looked at him. He had been acting strange for a while now.

“Why? Do you regret that Sistus did not kill me?”

“No. I do not want you to die.”

“So you want to let me wither away instead.”

Erin slowly rose to her feet and faced him. Only then did Gabriel smile. He reached out and gently stroked her cheek.

It was a tender touch, yet it sent a chill down her spine. Erin did not even bother shaking his hand off. She simply stared at him.

Gabriel smiled softly and spoke as if he were confessing his sins.

“Yes. I want you to be more unhappy than anyone else. To crumble, to lose everyone around you. Until I am the only one left at your side. I want you to have no one to turn to, no help to receive, except me.”

With every word Gabriel spoke, Erin felt the blood drain from her body. Her lips began to tremble.

Yet Gabriel was not finished. He gently wrapped his hand around her neck.

It did not seem as though he intended to choke her. It was as if he only wanted to remind her that she was still caught in his snare.

“To live while constantly receiving help from the person you hate the most. A life that is alive, yet not living. I want to keep that sight in my eyes.”

“You…”

“Did you wonder why? Why I killed your grandmother, your only family, and slaughtered the villagers.”

Madness flowed from his hand and seeped into Erin. She felt herself falling back into that nightmare once more.

The flames that burned everything around her. The screams echoing from all sides.

And Gabriel, drenched in blood.

“…Because it was you. That is why.”

In that instant, Erin remembered nothing.

When she came to, she was on top of Gabriel, pinning him to the floor, her hands locked around his throat.

No words were exchanged. Only rough, ownerless breaths filled the space.

Between those ragged breaths, someone was crying, but she could not tell whose tears they were. She glared down at Gabriel with a face filled with nothing but rage and resentment.

I will kill you. I will kill you no matter what.

Had she not devoted her entire life to killing this man. At last, finally, the chance was here.

Erin’s red eyes burned with murderous intent. She tightened her grip around his neck, and Gabriel began to gasp, unable to breathe.

And yet, a faint smile curved his lips.

Was he pleased that she was trying to kill him? Or was he mocking her, knowing she still could not finish it.

She did not know. That expression only fueled her fury further.

“Little one.”

The word was spoken softly, his voice hoarse, tinged with metal. It was a nickname that infuriated her every time she heard it, stoking her murderous intent even higher.

As Erin tightened her grip further, Gabriel could no longer speak.

“I told you not to call me that.”

Despite the killing intent in her eyes, he seemed unconcerned. Instead, he placed his hands over hers, over the hands choking him.

Cold, deathly guidance, kindly leading her further down the path of ruin.

Barely able to breathe, he whispered tender, seductive words.

“This is how you kill me.”

But I cannot die yet.

Gabriel delivered that cruel truth once more.

The despair flooded back into Erin’s face, washing away the rage. The strength in her hands began to drain.

Dark bruises marred Gabriel’s pale neck. Erin stared at them before letting out a hollow laugh.

Until she killed the Night Demon, she was bound to this noose, doomed to wither within it. No matter how desperately she struggled to keep from breaking, it was always Gabriel standing before her.

Erin clutched her head and screamed.

“Aaagh!”

He had said it was all because of her. No matter how she fought, it was as if he were telling her there was no going back.

Even now, the fact that no tears would fall felt absurd.

Panting, Erin staggered to her feet. Gabriel lay on the floor, the bruises on his neck still vivid.

“…Truly. I wish you were dead.” She voiced her wish to him in an exhausted tone. There was no reply. She had not expected one.

“Please. Just die. Die by my hand.”

It had turned into a plea. Erin let out a hollow laugh at herself.

She stumbled out of the room. Tomorrow, she had to go out again and purge the undead. She needed to focus on that.

Ah. I just want to give up on everything.

Erin left the prayer chamber, drained of strength. Gabriel stared blankly at the ceiling before his expression slowly twisted.

Even now, no tears came. His eyes burned so hot that he pressed his hand firmly against them. He wanted to cry.

Please. Please let me cry. He wanted to shed tears, even if it was just that.

So why did you do that to me?

Even with his eyes closed, he could see that person smiling brightly. Gabriel begged her.

Ah. Please. Please let me cry.

Erin.