Chapter 22

Chapter 22 – Into the Abyss (2)

Nothing Gabriel did made sense to her. The thirst and hunger raging through her felt violent enough to melt her brain, leaving her unable to push him away even as he drew closer. Enduring something no human should ever endure was, in itself, a grim sort of feat.

Words spilled from her mouth, but she could not register what she had said.

Am I really losing my mind?

The sensation of not being herself suddenly frightened her. In that instant, warmth seeped into her body, which had been locked tight with tension.

It was cold and warm at the same time, a contradictory temperature. Erin clung to it as if grasping a lifeline.

Gabriel’s calm voice reached her ears.

“Look at me,” he said steadily.

“Ha,” Erin gasped.

“That’s it. Breathe in slowly,” Gabriel instructed. “Now breathe out.”

She wanted to follow his words just to survive, but once her body stopped listening, it refused to obey at all. Her breathing would not steady. She could only gasp, air scraping painfully through her throat.

Then something soft pressed against her lips.

It took a long moment before she realized it was Gabriel’s mouth. The hot flesh probing into her mouth finally made it clear that she was kissing him. Startled, Erin jerked back.

She opened her mouth to protest, but Gabriel gripped the back of her head firmly and pressed his lips to hers again.

“Hngh,” Erin let out a muffled sound.

His tongue stirred insistently inside her mouth, disrupting her already ragged breathing. She shoved at his shoulder, but the more she resisted, the closer Gabriel pressed himself against her.

She tried to block him with her own tongue, only for their tongues to tangle together instead. Panicking, she attempted to bite down, but Gabriel noticed and caught her jaw in his hand.

When their lips finally parted, Erin glared at him as if she might kill him on the spot.

“I’m helping you breathe,” Gabriel said evenly.

Unlike Erin, who was panting harshly, Gabriel’s breathing had not faltered even once. The contrast stung her pride, and she bit her lip hard.

“What if you get hurt?” he added, clicking his tongue.

His hand pressed gently against her lips, the touch infinitely tender. Yet his gaze, fixed on her, brimmed with naked greed. That look disgusted her, and she growled through clenched teeth.

“I don’t need this anym—”

Her words were cut off as Gabriel kissed her again. His breathing remained calm, but his lips were rough, relentless. It was as though he were finally unleashing a desire he had restrained for far too long, showing no intention of pulling away.

At some point, she felt the soft give of a bed against her back. Erin shoved at him again, trying desperately to create distance.

Instead, Gabriel clung to her even more tightly, almost as if he were hanging onto her. When kissing alone was not enough, his hands, hot enough to melt skin, wrapped around her waist.

Her shirt slipped free from her trousers, and his hand slid smoothly beneath the fabric. The moment his skin touched her bare flesh, the heat made her vision swim.

“Ah,” Erin cried out sharply.

Only then did Gabriel stop.

He stared down at her with eyes clouded by arousal, then squeezed his eyes shut as if forcing himself to regain control.

“…Ha,” he exhaled.

He rested his forehead against hers, breathing out hot air, before pulling her into his arms.

“Get off me,” Erin said hoarsely.

“If I do, your body will be too cold,” Gabriel replied calmly.

His hand, still beneath her shirt, traced slow, soothing circles along her back, as if warming her.

“Did something unpleasant happen today?” he asked quietly.

Erin stared at him for a moment, then shoved him away. You are the source of all of this, she thought bitterly. Why should she bother explaining anything else that was tormenting her?

“You don’t need to know,” she said flatly.

She tried to sit up, but Gabriel caught her hand and pulled her back down. Erin glared up at him, only for him to lower himself and rest his face lightly against her chest, looking up at her instead.

It was as if he remembered her warning not to look down at her without permission.

“If you collapse again like before, that would be troublesome for me,” Gabriel said firmly.

He waited for her answer, pressing her for it. Erin sealed her lips, clearly having no intention of speaking.

That response displeased him, and a crease formed between his brows.

Seeing that expression, Erin let out a hollow laugh.

“Even if I’m your sacrifice,” she said coldly, “you’re still my lifelong enemy.”

She reached out and dragged her finger across Gabriel’s lips, which were slick with her saliva.

“There’s nothing more revolting than telling my story to someone like you.”

To speak of oneself was to allow someone close. Was it madness to refuse that?

She met Gabriel’s gaze head-on. He looked back at her without expression.

“…I’m heading South starting tomorrow,” Erin said at last. “That’s why I came.”

She slowly pushed herself upright. Her body still felt weak, but with Gabriel helping her up, it was manageable.

“They say undead attacked. It might be the beginning of a calamity.”

Gabriel did not respond.

“From tomorrow, I’ll be there suppressing them,” Erin continued. “And you’re coming with me.”

At that, Gabriel looked as though he could not see the problem. As if it were nothing at all, he pressed his lips gently against her thumb.

His lips slid down, kissing her palm instead.

For some reason, a vague memory surfaced. Someone had once said that kissing a palm was an expression of resentment.

Why did that thought come to her now? Even she did not understand.

Gabriel whispered, his lips still against her hand.

“Wherever you are, I’ll go.”

“Why?” Erin asked with a bitter chuckle. “So you can drag me deeper into the abyss?”

Her body was completely drained of strength. It felt as though she might lose consciousness at any moment, her limbs growing heavy like waterlogged cotton.

Seeing her suddenly go limp, Gabriel gathered her into his arms and patted her back gently.

Why am I like this?

She could not grasp what was happening to her at all.

She wanted to push him away, but her powerless body refused to obey. Slowly, like sinking into a swamp, Erin remained held in Gabriel’s embrace.

And her enemy treated her as if she were a gemstone on the verge of shattering, soothing her with utmost care.

It looked almost like he was kindly guiding her into the abyss.

That would never happen.

Even if she fell into the abyss, she would drag him down with her.

Erin lifted one corner of her lips in a faint smile.

“It won’t go the way you want,” she murmured. “Even if I have to fall into the abyss with you.”

“That won’t happen,” Gabriel replied softly. “Even if you fall into the abyss…”

She lacked the strength to resist and simply lay there. The steady rhythm of his touch felt unfamiliar.

It was strange. Her grandmother must have soothed her like this when she was young.

Why did it feel so new, as if she had never experienced it even once?

With unfocused eyes, Erin looked up at Gabriel. Her vision was blurred, but he seemed to be watching her with a face twisted in pain.

Why was he looking at her like that? Should he not be pointing and laughing as she fell into ruin?

“…I’ll already be there,” he whispered.

His voice, thick with tears, echoed pleasantly near her ear.

His hand filled her vision, blocking everything else from sight.

“It’ll be all right, Lady Erin.”

As her consciousness faded, she could no longer tell if the voice she heard truly belonged to Gabriel.

***

A demon god has no tears. If he could cry, Erin’s face would have been soaked with them by now.

For the first time, Gabriel was sincerely grateful for his inability to shed tears.

He stared blankly at Erin, who had lost consciousness in his arms. Since reuniting with her, this was the first time he had seen her look so peaceful.

He should have laid her back on the bed. And yet, a foolish desire urged him to remain like this a little longer.

Yielding to that desire, Gabriel continued to hold her and look at her. A strand of hair clung to her cheek, and he carefully brushed it aside.

Her hair, damp with cold sweat, wrapped around his fingers as if it would never let go. His face began to contort.

Was she deeply asleep? Her pale face and even breathing filled him with resentment.

In a wet, trembling voice, he whispered his grievance.

“…You shouldn’t do this to me.”

Burying his face against her neck, Gabriel let out a deep sigh, rubbing his face there as if trying to swallow his bitterness.

But the resentment and anger kept rising. He ground his teeth, as though ready to make a vow he had held back for far too long.

Suddenly, Gabriel climbed over her, straddling her body. As if chased by something, he seized her neck with both hands.

Earlier, Erin had been the one gasping for breath.

Now, it was Gabriel.

His rough breathing was soaked with moisture. Beneath his fingers, he could feel Erin’s pulse, her heartbeat pounding so loudly that it drowned out everything else.

He needed only to apply a little pressure. Her slender neck would snap, and she would die.

Die, and become his forever.