Chapter 236.2

Chapter 236.2

I didn’t know anymore. Even my thoughts felt like clutter; annoying, heavy, pointless. The inside of my temple throbbed as if someone had crushed my skull with a hammer, and I didn’t want to think at all.

When I lazily shook my head, he let out another heavy sigh. His eyes looked dead tired, and his muttering carried a hint of frustration. Then, with a strange expression, he pulled a photo out of his pocket.

“It’s been three months now.”

On the black screen, something small, like a peanut, flickered with static.

What the hell is this supposed to be?

“This little one,” he said quietly, “wasn’t easy for us to have.”

“…”

“The day I finally found your trail, I got this news too. I haven’t been able to return to Korea for months because of you.”

Honestly, I didn’t understand a single word he was saying. I chewed on my dry tongue a few times before blurting out,

“…I need to pee.”

“What?”

“Stop the car. I need to pee.”

“…”

“Hurry up, mister!”

I tugged at my waistband in frustration. The man’s jaw stiffened like he’d just been smacked in the back of the head.

I didn’t care. I just slammed my fists against the trailer wall, over and over, until the speeding vehicle finally hit the brakes.

I shot up like a spring, hurried to the back, and swung the door open. The sunlight stabbed my eyes, making me dizzy for a second, but I didn’t hesitate. I yanked down my pants and squatted without shame.

A quiet curse came from behind me, soon drowned out by the sound of urine splashing onto the ground.

“You…”

At the low voice, I glanced sideways at his groin. That bastard probably still had both his balls, huh?

Men like that, I didn’t even want to talk to them.

As I pulled my pants back up, a gust of wind swept across the vast desert.

For a moment, I stared out at the endless expanse, a strange loneliness rising from deep inside my stomach. The hot sand scraped meaninglessly through my empty head.

“You…”

The man’s face stiffened as he started to speak.

“I want a white place.”

“What?”

“You asked me where I wanted to go.”

“…”

“If we’re going somewhere, I’d like it to be there. Somewhere it snows a lot… A place clad in snow.”

The man’s eyelids twitched slightly.

I wasn’t curious about anything. I didn’t even want to know my own name.

I didn’t want to hear why my body had become such a grotesque mess.

The moment that thought crossed my mind, something sharp flickered through my blurry vision.

I should just die.

Somewhere white, where the snow never stops falling.

Never again… never wake up again.

***

Lee Wooshin. No matter how many times I repeated it, it was an unpleasant name.

The young man who introduced himself as Lee Wooshin stayed by my side for a while.

He forced me down when I refused an injection, pressed his hand hard on my forehead as he inserted an IV, and wiped the filth caked on my skin.

Then, when he saw the marks drawn across my stomach, his face froze cold.

There were lines etched on my skin like a map. Anyone who saw them might have thought it was some kind of territory game.

“Damn it. Where’d you lose that temper of yours?”

His curse came out sharp as his chest heaved. I knew what those marks meant; divided left, right, up, and down. I had escaped that place right before I was sold off.

“You’ve gone soft. Pathetically soft. Haven’t you?”

It sounded like a compliment, but the cold curve of his mouth said otherwise.

The ride afterward was unbearably long. I just stared blankly out the window while Wooshin kept his eyes glued to that photo of something shaped like a peanut.

“Not seeing them or holding them is driving me insane.”

He leaned forward, bracing his restless body on his wide thighs, and rubbed his face tiredly.

“She’s been having bad morning sickness.”

Then, like he was reading something poisonous, Wooshin fixed his eyes on me.

“Maybe that’s for the best. At least the baby won’t be affected for now.”

That look made me feel sick. When I glared back, he flicked my forehead with a sharp snap.

“Ah, damn it!” My forehead flushed red where he’d hit me.

“We’ll be in Korea soon.”

“Korea…”

“Yeah, Korea. I’ll take you to the place where it snows the most. First, you recover. Rest up and get your strength back.”

“…”

“Learning comes after that.”

His gray eyes were cold, but his hand was strangely careful as he patted my bare scalp.

“Unfortunately, I’m your guardian now. So while we’re at it, think of yourself like that peanut in the photo and grow again. Stop staring at your empty hands.”

“…”

“When we meet again, make sure you’re holding something… anything, even a blade of grass.”

He frowned, then jabbed my forehead once more.

“Spring should come for you too.”

It was a strange kind of farewell. That was how Lee Wooshin told me my name.