Chapter 71

Odelliana felt utterly overwhelmed. The roles had reversed so completely, it was almost laughable.

Matthias, newly knighted and once her student, should have been the subordinate. Yet somehow, it was her life that now felt mortgaged to him.

“You’re the one who needs to understand it, Master,” he said, his voice calm but firm. “Just how heavy, immense, and suffocating it is to be responsible for someone’s life.”

She said nothing.

“You took on that burden of your own will,” he added.

Despite the chaos he’d caused, Matthias appeared entirely unshaken—almost arrogant, as if he were the one holding the leash now.

“Do you know something, Master?” he murmured, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I’ve always wanted to be that kind of presence to you. The kind you can’t forget. Someone who clings to your thoughts so tightly you can’t escape, no matter how hard you try.”

He let the silence stretch for a moment, savoring it.

“Even now,” he continued, voice lowering, “I indulge in those sweet little fantasies.”

“…Matthias.” Her tone was uncertain. Warning, maybe. Or pleading.

“Just as you’re responsible for me,” he said softly, “I’ll take responsibility for you. You’ll be bound to me, too.”

She didn’t respond. Couldn’t.

“Under the sacred and weighty name of a vow.”

It wasn’t impulsive. It wasn’t youthful recklessness.

It was deliberate. Calculated.

At first, Odelliana had believed him too young to grasp the true meaning behind such words. But now… now she saw it had always been intentional.

For just a moment, the boy he once was blurred with the man he had become—the daring knight commander who had once called a queen foolish to her face without flinching.

Yes.

Every now and then, that once-unripe boy gave off the scent of something fully grown. Something wild.

Like a beast trained to heel, but never truly tamed.

He looked like a boy on the outside, but inside, he carried the poise of someone far older.
There was something deeply unsettling about the way he wore his youth like a costume while toying with people as if they were chess pieces in the palm of his hand.

“I’ll be off now. I don’t have much time,” Matthias said lightly.

Odelliana didn’t answer.

“Thank you for the congratulations—and the gift, Master.”

He turned and walked away, unhurried, his steps easy and self-assured, like a knight returning from battle, bearing news of triumph.

Around him, the nobles who had once proudly called themselves his patrons began to shift uncomfortably. One by one, they backed away, their expressions deflated, their attention drifting instead to Odelliana, who stood unmoving.

The whispers began almost immediately.

“Who on earth is she?”

As if jolted into motion, she climbed into her carriage, her steps stiff and hurried—almost like she was fleeing. She kept her head down, avoiding their stares, but she could feel the words forming behind her back.

Now, they’d spend days gossiping. About the limping woman who received a knight’s vow from a striking young man.

But what could she do? The damage was done.

Odelliana rubbed her neck, as if trying to erase the sensation that still lingered there.

It feels like I’ve been collared.

“I used to think you had the reins in that relationship,” came a voice from beside her. “But after today… I’m not so sure.”

Odelliana flinched slightly. Malena had a way of slipping in unnoticed, her words like a blade slipped between the ribs.

Until now, Odelliana had always believed she was the one pulling him in—always one step ahead. But today, she’d been led so completely, so easily, it left her breathless.

“Today may go down as the most bewildering moment of my life,” she muttered.

Malena arched a brow. “Well, you did make a rather sentimental promise. Now you’ll have to follow through. That’s your karma.”

“A sentimental promise?” Odelliana echoed, incredulous.

Malena shrugged, unbothered. “Sure. You seduced that boy with those sweet, tender words. Said you’d take responsibility for his life. What else was he supposed to think?”

“Seduced him?” Odelliana cried, her voice rising in protest. “I never meant it like that! What I meant was—”

“Well, too bad,” Malena cut in flatly. “He took it that way.”

Odelliana let out a low groan and dragged a hand over her face, exasperated. Then she slumped back into the cushioned seat.

If she had known it would come to this, she would’ve just sent the gift through Malena and skipped the knighting ceremony altogether.

“Still,” Malena said, “you have to admit. It was impressive. Pulling off that kind of performance in front of a huge crowd without so much as blinking. Honestly, it was kind of romantic.”

“Maybe to some,” Odelliana muttered, her voice low. “But to me, that ‘romance’ felt like despair.”

Malena grinned. “Try to look on the bright side. You just had an experience most people don’t get even once in their entire lives. That has to count for something.”

Odelliana turned to her with narrowed eyes. “You’ve really taken a liking to teasing me, haven’t you?”

“You brought it on yourself,” Malena replied, utterly unapologetic. “If you try to tame a wild beast, you should be prepared to get bitten.”

Once again, the conversation circled back to being her fault. And the worst part was she couldn’t even argue.

“Do you really have to take it so seriously?” Malena continued. “What’s done is done. From where I’m standing, you’ve gained a loyal knight bound to your household. Isn’t that a good thing?”

Odelliana exhaled slowly. “His entire life is tied to mine now.”

“So what?” Malena scoffed. “A knight swearing himself to his lord is standard practice. You’re not special.”

“That’s not how I wanted to control his life,” she said quietly.

Malena tilted her head. “So you raised him all this time, just to let him go in the end? Sounds like you’re doing someone else a favor.”

In Odelliana’s carefully laid plans, Matthias’s future had always followed a straight path: he would rise to become a knight commander, a national hero respected by the people. He would marry a noblewoman of good standing, settle down, and raise children in peace.

That was how she intended to repay him—for everything he had done for her safety, for her revenge.

She had hoped that once he found his place in the world, he could live freely, unbound by a woman like her, crippled and consumed by the past.

But vows were heavy things.

She knew, better than anyone, what it meant to swear one. And because of that, Matthias’s choice didn’t feel romantic at all.

It felt like a mistake.

A deeply regrettable one.

“When people gain power, they often feel the urge to wield it,” Odelliana said quietly. “Why should I be any different?”

“Is that what you’re afraid of?” Malena asked, tilting her head.

“That’s what a vow is,” Odelliana replied, her tone clipped. “If I ordered Matthias to slit his own throat right now, he’d do it. Even something that absurd—he’d be bound to obey. That’s what it means to be sworn in blood. That’s the destiny of a knight.”

Malena’s voice softened. “But you’re not the kind of person to give such merciless orders.”

“People change,” she said, looking away.

Using Matthias for her own selfish reasons—just this once—had already pushed her limits. But what if she couldn’t let go of him afterward, even when the revenge was done and her life was finally her own again?

What if she clung to him, bound him tighter, all in the name of love or fear or loneliness?

A vow should never turn into a chain.

An imbalanced relationship was poison. One-sided devotion only ever led to destruction.

Just like the woman who gave her life for a man, and the king who used her for the rest of it.

“You’re really kind, you know,” Malena said.

Odelliana didn’t answer.

“If you’re that worried, there’s a simple solution.”

Her eyes narrowed. “…What is it?”

“You could just marry him.”

Odelliana blinked. “Why did the conversation suddenly take that turn?”

“Well,” Malena said with a shrug, “you’re already bound to each other. Why not live your lives as actual partners?”

Too stunned to even laugh, Odelliana slumped in her seat and rested her chin on one hand. She glared at Malena, then let out a long sigh.

“Do you really think something as huge as marriage is that simple?”

Malena grinned. “Well, Sir Matthias—since that’s what we’re calling him now—strikes me as the type who’d ask you the moment he comes of age.”

“He’s still too naive,” Odelliana said, brushing the comment away. “Once he sees more of the world, meets new people, experiences real life… a cripple like me won’t even cross his mind.”

Malena gave her a pointed look. “You still see him as a boy. But from where I’m standing, he’s far more mature, clever, and calculating than most men twice his age. If you think his devotion to you is just youthful impulse, you’re seriously underestimating him.”

Odelliana scoffed. “And what would you know? Have you ever been married? Ever been in love?”

Malena rolled her eyes. “Even a stray dog could give you the right answer to that, if it could talk.”

“That’s not an answer,” Odelliana said dryly.

It was ignored.

Malena leaned back, her expression thoughtful. “It wouldn’t be the worst thing for you. Men like him don’t come around often.”

“…Shut up,” Odelliana muttered.

She shivered. Not out of disgust—but at the sudden, jarring image of kissing him. Of lying beside him.

It wasn’t revolting. Just… wrong.

Strange.

Embarrassing.

Uncomfortable.

He had always been her student. Her comrade. Her rival. Even now, despite everything, he was still a child in her eyes.

She had never once seen him as a man—and she was certain she never would.

To her, Matthias was family. A beloved younger brother.

The idea of marrying him was simply unthinkable.

“That will never happen,” she said firmly.

Malena only gave her a cryptic little smile.

“Well,” she murmured, “who knows? The future’s full of surprises. We’ll see what happens once he becomes a man.”